I hired a new independent contractor yesterday. What will she do for me? Web design? Lawn maintenance? Book editing? How about…health care?

That’s right. I hired a new doctor. I don’t think the doctor knew she was being interviewed. She told me she was glad to have me as a new patient, assuming that because I had asked for an appointment to see her, the decision was already made. It wasn’t. I had a lot of questions for her. I wanted to make sure we were a good match. I’m happy that I think we are.

Do you think of your doctor as someone who works for you? Or do you see yourself as “his” or “her” patient? For most of my life, I have been socialized to look at my doctors as the bosses of me, rather than the other way around. After all, the doctor is the expert, right? The phrase “doctor’s orders” is taken to mean some directive that must be followed. Still, we know plenty of examples of people who don’t follow their doctor’s “orders” to lose weight, quit smoking, or start exercising. So who are we kidding? Each of us is in charge of making our own decisions about our health.

I hired this doctor for her expertise, of course. But she is there to give me advice, not to take control of all decisions about my body and my health. It’s a fine distinction, but one worth making. By seeing myself (correctly) as the person at the head of my health care team, I feel stronger and more in control. Who is on your health care team? I employ a primary care physician, a dentist, a dermatologist, a gynecologist, and a gastroenterologist. They give me advice, but I make the ultimate decisions about whether to submit to a test, take a medicine, participate in a therapy, or seek a second opinion. It is my right to ask, “How much will this cost?” or “How many times have you performed this surgery?” or “What other options are there?” before I make a decision.

Remember that you always have choices, even if the choice is simply how to view the inevitable. YOU are in charge of you.